My 5 Year Old Forced Me To Love My Hair

I have a love/hate relationship with my hair. I love it because it is versatile. I can manipulate it in so many ways that I can have a new hairstyle for every day of the week. I hate it because it’s so much work and I don’t have time!

Since I could remember, my mom would press my hair with a hot comb. We would rock those straight hair styles until nature caused us to wash and straighten again. As I grew older and the world seemed to migrate to the “love your natural hair” movement, I decided to allow my natural tresses to fall as they see fit. Well…let’s just say they didn’t fall the way I wanted.

I would YouTube natural hair tutorials and try to get my hair to curl just like the girl’s hair in the video. Well half of my hair would slay while the rest decided not to cooperate with the task at hand. I couldn’t #win with my natural hair. So I became a “closet naturalist”. You would never know that my hair was natural because I disguised it with flat iron hairstyles and braided updos. I was totally fine with this life I chose to live until my daughter came into the picture.

When she was born, I would take time to moisturize her beautiful, God given curls. She wore her hair in puff balls on each side of her head, she rocked a bun, she even had braid outs where her curls flowed freely without a care in the world. But as she grew older, she wasn’t too fond of the curls that she was blessed with. At the early age of 4, she didn’t like that her hair wasn’t straight like Mommy. She wanted to imitate me and the girls she saw parading around her daily.

It was then that I decided that I needed to do something. I realized that I am the biggest example she has and if I am not exhibiting self love for what I have, why would she. If I wasn’t happy with what my natural hair looked like, what kind of example was I showing her. It doesn’t matter if Yara Shahidi or Marsai Martin are slaying with their natural hair, if she doesn’t see me do it, she doesn’t want to either.

I looked in the mirror and made a vow that I would be her role model. I would change the narrative for her and bring back her love for her natural hair by me loving mine.

It hasn’t been easy, I must say. I have retreated back to my YouTube videos and made it my goal to do what works for me. I started following some phenomenal ladies like Naptural85 and Michelle B and they have given me helpful tips for my journey.

My daughter has already asked me to redo the same natural hairstyles I have been able to accomplish on her hair. It makes me so excited that she is enjoying the head of hair that she was given. I want this to be a love that doesn’t die. We have also fallen in love with some books like Princess Hair and I Love My Hair.

Now, she might feel one day that she needs a new look and want to venture into a new style or texture for her hair, and I’m all for it. That’s one thing that makes our hair so fantastic. I’m just glad that right now she is able to see her mother not only talks the talk but walks the walk.

10 thoughts on “My 5 Year Old Forced Me To Love My Hair

  1. I understand where you coming from. Our natural hair can be a lot of work sometimes especially if you don’t have the time to give it the love that it needs. Its great your daughter inspired you to embrace it. I’m still learning to embrace mine.


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